Fuck You Dog!

Dude… Dinner time is at 7PM. Not 6:05 not 6:32 not 6:36. Stop crying asshole!


Fuck. dude. dude. SEVEN O’CLOCK. SEVEN. Shut the fuck up.

c’mon man. it’s like 15 more minutes. can’t you just wait until it is actually dinner time?

Please. Just. Stop.

Dude. I’m going to feed you. I have fed you every single day for 10 years just fucking wait.


Here asshole, here’s your food. Enjoy dickhead.

Hey gimme kiss first. Love you too good boy.


Dude why are you crying now, I just fed you.


I. Just. Fed. You.

Fuck… you gotta go potty?

god damn it.

Fuck You Facebook!

  • This will prevent account hijack
  • hey facebook, that’s your fucking problem bitch

Seriously facebook. I mean seriously?!?!?

WTF facebook. The entire point of your existence is so I don’t have to give people I meet my phone number.  Do you think I want my fiends calling me? Fuck that. A real friend would know I have no fucking interest in talking to them.

And while I’m at it facebook. Fuck you.

I mean seriously facebook, WTF dude. WTF and why is your website always asking me to do stuff. I don’t want to do that stuff. The stuff I want to do I don’t need you to remind me about and I don’t even want to do that so there. Fuck you.

Also why do you let people see that I’ve seen the event I was invited to? How am I supposed to pretend like I never saw the notification if you go telling people I looked at it?!?! WTF. Horse shit. Fuck.

Whats with the green dots bitch? Now these assholes know when I’m on facebook. I turn off chat and people message me. Why do people have to exist so much. Stop it. Facebook. Now. Fuck you.

Stop it.

No. More.

Drips on Mug Look Upset or Something. Now I’m Upset.

  • Earlier Black Cat crossed my path
  • I’m freaking out man

Seriously, I was fine with the black cat and that ass that ran the stop sign but this is just to much. Why does my mug have to look at me with such disrespect? I made the drink to forget about that shit. Now I gotta deal with more shit?!?!?


I’m freaking out man…

This is what happens when people decorate for Halloween in September. This is what happens when the Illuminati has your phone tapped.  I try to be a good person. I don’t talk to sexy women ever. I only talk shit on people behind their  back. I change my underwear daily or at the least nightly.

Fuck you mug.

Fuck. You.

I made you what you are.

If it wasn’t for me you’d still be sitting on a shelf at Target like some Microsoft Surface Pro. This is bullshit man.

Sorry. Not sorry. Don’t make me get a paper towel you fucker. Cheer me up drink.

Or else.